Brush with a handsome French boy

Hey everyone!

I'm back! Yep. This is going to be a long blog post. I have a lot on my mind.

Sister Mueller and I arriving in the Salt Lake airport

I just spent the last 18 months away from home in the wonderful land of Fukuoka, Japan, and I want more than anything to go right back there.

I had THE most amazing experience of all time serving my Heavenly Father in a land that I have learned to love so much. If you happen to want to read about it feel free to visit my mission blog. There is a lot of great stuff in there.

I'll give myself credit for making a concerted effort to focus on doing the will of the Lord in those 18 months I was gone, but when the time to return home seemed pretty tangible my mind started to go...a little like this.

First and foremost, I thought about how wonderful it would be to hold my new niece Violette and just SIT with my family and talk. I also did a great deal of thinking about the logistics of returning home- the ten days I would spend in Provo, one month in Europe, and the eventual start of Fall semester at BYU. Lastly, I thought of getting back into the dating scene, how awesome it would be to stay out past 9:00 PM, and the mysterious Italian men I might have a fling with before heading back to America.

All of my wildest dreams came true upon holding Violette who is the squishiest, cutest baby I've ever laid hands on. My family, who are less squishy( I think?) but still awesome, are the happiest I've ever seen them.

However, as far as the romantic daydreams I might have had...lets be honest, guys. It is just not going to happen.

So the other day we were in the French Alps about to take a goldola to the top of this incredibly gorgeous mountain and we passed this really cute guy who was monitoring the rides. At first I thought I was imagining him looking over in my direction(is there a non-chubby-post-missionary American hottie standing behind me or something?)... then very obviously smiling at me ( Awkward thing with the eyes where you don't know where to look..)...and still looking(...so I look desperately at my sister who makes it worse by laughing and saying, "that French guy is totally smiling at youuuuuu!"),  he makes eye contact (still panicking)...and then I go huddle by the wooden guardrail trying to convince myself not to jump over the edge while my sister tries to convince me to go talk to him.

Monte Blanc in the French Alps

I did the obvious right thing (or so my slightly brain-washed Sister missionary mind still thinks is the right thing)  and completely ignored him, all chances of a romantic mountain date-hike with a rugged Frenchman whispering sweet nothings about the Alps into my ears being blown away by the crisp mountain breeze.

What happened to my high school self who had the uber-confidence to approach any cute guy? Or at least flirtingly smile back? He was FRENCH for heavens sake!

Why wouldn't a hot French guy want a piece of this? Hahahah

I guess the rumors are true. Life after the mission is just a little rough. Just a little, though. Here are some things I am currently struggling with:

1. Knowing how good it is to go to bed early and rise early because I did it for 18 months nonstop but for one reason or another not being able to keep that schedule anymore. Heart-breaking

2. Having a conversation without annoyingly telling some story about my mission.

3.  Getting back into social media. It took me literally a week to figure out how to work the new Facebook. I kept telling people I hadn't logged on yet but I was really just embarrassed that I couldn't work the dang thing to check my messages and write anyone back. Also, my last companion, Sister Takabori, told me a lot about Pinterest, Instagram and other new fads that apparently make it easier to show people how cool you are, but I can't figure those out, either so I guess I'm doomed to being ever non-cool. I used to be kind of cool, though so I'll give myself a break.

4. Remembering English. I'm not saying I'm one of those RMs who came back and had a goofy mission language-related accent and said embarrassing things in their homecoming talk, but after spending one year straight with Japanese companions I have definitely lost some of my former English language vocabulary. I'm a communications major, so that's kind of a problem. I used to be kind of witty and pull out big words here and there to make myself sound slightly intelligent but now I got nothin'. Aint got nothin'.

I'm sure the list will continue to grow longer as my time as an awkward return missionary passes.

Despite all of my current challenges I am looking forward with an eye of hope and excited for what the future holds.

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.